My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
