He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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