Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
