arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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