we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
