I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
