did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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