I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize