I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
