I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
