Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
