i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize