There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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