Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
