I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
