apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
