So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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