I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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