Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
