Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
