you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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