Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
