i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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