sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize