ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
