Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
