every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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