I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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