I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
