took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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