So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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