She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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