doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
