Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
