great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
