He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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