I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
