I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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