NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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