I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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