you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
