he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
