Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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