her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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