I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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