I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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