Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Floor bacon is actually really good
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
