As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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