so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize