I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i think i just lost a toe
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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