Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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