Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
