the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
