...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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