I hate all girls vehemently.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
